Helping Your Child Build a Positive Attitude
Dear Parents:
Being a good role model is important for your child. As your child grows up, he sees and emulates your way of thinking whether it is of school, work, chores or anything else, so it is important that it be positive. Here are just a few things you can do to assure a positive attitude:
*Listen, hear and understand others and their feelings.
*Try new things and allow your child to do the same.
*Be accepting of others.
*Don’t compare one person with another.
*Foster independence and develop a sense of responsibility.
*Spend as much time with your family as possible, both at work and at play.
*Do things as a family that gives you a chance to praise and enjoy one another.
*Emphasize the positive.
Dear Parents:
Hug your child every day. This simple concept is an important gesture, and the physical embrace is a way of connecting with your child. Children who feel loved and cared for have high self-esteem and do well in their endeavors. Young children have a need to be loved and cuddled, especially by the adults they live with. And guess what – it will do you as much good as it does your child. Remember, there’s always time to fit in a big hug!
*Do be aware that if your child gets used to hugs from home and then goes off to school (and expects a teacher to give hugs) where the teacher may show affection differently, this does not mean that the teacher doesn’t like your child. It means the teacher has a different style than the one your child is used to.
Dear Parents:
Here is a list of supplies to keep close at hand. The grade level most appropriate is mentioned next to the item.
Pencils (all grades)
Pens (3-up)
Markers (all grades)
Writing Paper (all grades)
Construction Paper (all grades)
Tape (all grades)
Glue (all grades)
Eraser (all grades)
Pencil Sharpener (all grades)
Scissors (all grades)
Children’s dictionary (1-3)
Crayons (1-6)
Assignment Book (2-up)
Folders (2-up)
Dear Parents:
There are many activities you can do with your child to help him to become a better reader. As a matter of fact, they are so much fun, you won’t believe they’re activities for learning! Most of the activities are simple and can be done anywhere.
Here are some ideas:
*Think of a word and see how many times your child can find it in the newspaper or magazine – or if in a car, on the signs you pass.
*When you are in the car, point out a sign and see if your child can read it.
*Let your child read the advertisements that come in the mail.
*Have you child help you cook by reading the recipe.
*Have your child help you create a project by reading the directions involved.
*Have your child help you select which cereal to buy in the grocery store by reading the boxes.
*Have your child help you find where you are going by looking in the phone book for the address.
*Have your child help you do laundry buy turning the knobs on the washer and dryer.
*Have your child apply for his own library card.
*Have your child learn how to play a game by reading directions aloud.
Have fun!
Dear Parents:
Does the following conversation sound familiar:
Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Fine.”
Parent: “What did you do in school today?”
Child: “Nothin’.”
Parent: “How was the trip to the history museum?”
Child: “OK.”
This may sound like a great conversation to some parents, and to others it may sound like your child has tuned out bothersome questions.
Let’s take a look at the importance of really talking and really listening. In order to do that, we must add the importance of really hearing and really understanding.
In order to really talk to your child, it is important that you look directly at him. Your child’s body language will give you more answers to how he feels than what he says. Look at the expression in his eyes. Look at his posture and see whether his muscles seem tense or calm. Look at his hand – are they clinched or relaxed?
As you listen and observe your child, concentrate on what he is actually saying. Sit or stand close to him. Allow him to express the things that are important to him without interruption. Listen courteously. If he won’t communicate, be sensitive to the times when he is more receptive to talking.
Two of the things that don’t work are nagging and threats. So why do we use them as tools to motivate our children? Because they are easy. It’s not easy to really communicate – it takes lots of practice and work to get better and better.
As a suggestion, one of the best ways to have a conversation with your child is to stop asking “why?” Some children are intimidated by the question. Instead, use a phrase like, “You seem angry. Something must have happened today.” Or, “I can see that you are frustrated. Your homework must be difficult.” Communicating in this manner encourages a child to open up in a non-threatening, non-nagging way.
Once your child opens up…
*Hear what is said
*Understand the feelings that go with the comment. Instead of getting the last word in or reacting with a gasp, take time to care about how your child is feeling.
*Don’t cut off your child. He may go back to answering your questions in one-word sentences. Your intention is to know what is going on in your child’s private world.
Using the above steps will help you achieve this.
In review, to communicate with your child, you must look at him, listen to and hear what is said and understand. Please let me know how this method of communicating works for you.
The Importance of Establishing Good Homework Patterns
Dear Parents:
You have the unique opportunity to have a positive affect on your child’s future. The development of homework patterns begins in childhood and shapes how your child will work throughout life. It is important that you help your child establish good homework habits that he can take with him well into adult life.
Here are eight things you can do to set a healthy homework tone:
Remember, what you do to create a homework policy in your home today, will set the tone for how your child works tomorrow.
Dear Parents:
During the winter season, you may see snow or frost. You’ll also see bare trees and few animals or insects. This is a good time for some indoor fun, if the weather is too cold to play outside. Try these activities.
*Create a winter calendar. Draw a weather symbol of sunshine, a cloud, rain or snow for each day of the month of December, January and/or February. If some days need more than one symbol, put as many on as needed. Draw symbols in different colors and see how delightful and colorful the calendar becomes.
*Make snow people sugar cookies and decorate with powdered sugar. Add raisin eyes, a red-hot cinnamon mouth and a thin black licorice scarf.
*Color, cute and paste! Make holiday greeting cards for relatives and friends. Send them out early.
*Create a coupon book. Have your child make five coupons such: as stay up 30 minutes later, watch one extra program on television, help make brownies and other things he wishes for and you approve. After the coupons are written and colored, sign them and allow your child to use them whenever he wishes, especially during holiday time.
*Make a bread snowflake. Get one piece of white bread and cut out corners and inside shapes to create a unique shape. Bake at a low temperature 10-20 minutes, until slightly brown. Take out of oven and hang outside for birds.
*Make paper snowflakes and stick on windows to decorate the room. Cut out a circle on white paper. Fold in half. Fold in half again and again. Snip edges in various shapes and carefully unfold. Now decorate and hang outside.
*Fill various size jars with jellybeans, gumballs and other small festive objects. Have your children guess how many are in each jar. The one who comes closest gets the jar and its contents. This makes a great party game.
*Scavenger Hunt: Write a note and hide it. When your child finds the first note, have that note explain where to look for the second note. When she finds the second note, it explains where to look for the third note…and so on. The final note should have a warm and special message.
*Find 1-inch (2.5 cm) thick sticks. Strip bark and sandpaper the stick smooth. Next, paint an imaginary creature on the stick with bright colors. Add small bead eyes, tail feathers, yarn hair and give your creature a name.
Have a fun winter!
Dear Parents:
It’s fall! The days are getting a little shorter and somewhat cooler. The leaves are turning beautiful shades of orange, yellow, red, and brown. Birds are flying South, and squirrels are collecting food for winter. You are probably noticing many more changes around you as well. School is beginning, so during the time you spend with your child, here are some wonderful seasonal activities to do together.
*Make a fall bookmark. Get a piece of cardboard, and clue decorative fall leaves to it. Put two large books on top and let sit for a week until the leaves flatten and dry. Use your bookmark with your favorite book.
*Make a leaf collage. Create a scene with fish, trees, faces and other familiar items. Take notes as to the kind of tree each leaf is from.
*Have your child think of reasons for liking fall. Write them down. Then ask if he likes pumpkin pie and bake one! Ask if she likes playing in the leaves and let her do so. Ask whether he likes watching squirrels or not. If so, allow this.
*Tell your child a story about a fall memory.
*Sing a song about fall together such as “turkey in the Straw”; “Turn, Turn, Turn” or “To Everything There is a Season”; “The More We Get Together”; “The Bus Song.” Think up more!
*Have your child write what fall means to him and draw a picture to accompany it.
*Using your five senses, make five lists of things you see, smell, touch, hear and taste during the fall season.
*Think of a fall topic such as leaves, school, apples, Halloween, wind, etc., and during dinner, have each member of the family think about what that topic means to him or her.
*Think of something interesting that happened a long time ago during the fall. Discuss the subject and find out more about it. What if this was happening now – how would you feel?
*Clean up! Start a job earning money by recycling, taking out the trash or other household chores. For every quarter earned, put away a nickel. By holiday time, your child can take the money set aside and buy someone less fortunate a holiday gift.
*Cook an autumn meal. Cook carrots; roast turkey; crack nuts for snacks; bake an apple pie.
*Find leaves, small branches and seeds, and create a large picture with these items by gluing them on paper. Frame and hang up.
Dear Parents:
Spring means being outdoors, jumping high, enjoying the weather, occasional spring showers, buds swelling into flowers and animals coming out of their hibernation. Here are some activities you can do indoors or outdoors.
*Carrot tops! Cut the tops (large ends) of carrots off – about 1-inch (2.5 cm). Put the flat side into a small bowl of water, filled to ¼ inch (0.6 cm) level. Watch! In one or two weeks, you’ll see greenery shooting from the tops.
*Sing spring songs such as “Michael, Row the Boat Ashore”; “What Have They Done to the Rain?”; “Eensy Weensy Spider”; “Frog Went a Courting”; “It’s Pouring”; “Here We Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush”; “Skip o My Lou”; “A-Tisket, A-Tasket”; “Rain, Rain”; “Six Little Ducks” and any others you think of.
*Spring spelling. Think of 10 words that have to do with spring, such as basket, showers, growth, insects, blooms, etc. Write them down and practice spelling them.
*Create a garden by planting bulbs. Get a pot, soil, some water and follow your gardener’s directions as to when to water and how much sunlight to give your growing plant.
*Go outside with pencil and paper. Record every small animal or insect that you see and the place where you saw each one. (Find a frog, squirrel, earthworm, ant, fly, cricket, spider and bumblebee – don’t get too close to this insect!) What was each creature doing when you spotted it? Did you scare it away, or did it stay around and allow you to watch it?
*On a rainy day try this. Get some colored chalk and draw a design on a piece of white paper. Put the paper outside and watch what happens to the patterns on the picture made by the rain. Be sure to hold down your paper using rocks, so that it doesn’t blow away!
Enjoy your spring together. It’s a nice time of year for science projects and all kinds of activities.
Dear Parents:
This is the season you will need the most activities to do with your children because they are home more often and will want to stay occupied, so get equipped with these exciting activities:
*”Fan”tastic! Make a fan for someone you love. Color a piece of paper and decorate it with glitter and bright colors on both sides. Then fold it accordion style into a fan. Staple the bottom. Give as a summer gift to someone who’s HOT!
*Find and watch a bee collect nectar (be careful and don’t get too close), a cricket singing a song, a frog jumping or a ladybug laying eggs on a leaf. What do you notice? What do you learn?
*Go outside, sit under a tree and read a book. Bring a picnic lunch, a blanket and enjoy the day.
*Draw a picture of yourself doing your favorite summer activity.
*If you plan a trip, show your child maps and tour guides as a way to involve him so that he will read all about the place he’s going. What is there that will especially interest him?
*Dry flowers for decoration or potpourri. Here’s how – pick flowers that have not fully bloomed. Tie five or six stems together and hang upside down in a dark, dry play, such as a cellar or closet. Leave for three weeks, until dried. Carefully take down when they are ready and display.
*Begin a summer journal. Write in it every day.
*Sing summer song such as “Mr. Sun,” “Ring-a-Ring ‘o Roses,” “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” “This Old Man,” and any others you think of.
*Make sand pictures with stencils. Lay a stencil on a piece of paper and spread glue inside the shape you want to come out on paper. Sprinkle sand inside the shape, pull up the stencil carefully and let dry. Come back 10 minutes later and shake off excess sand. Do this with other stencil shapes.
*Decorate a box using shells you’ve collected. Create your design first by laying the shells on top of the box in the order that you want them secured on the top. Then raise each one long enough to add clue and stick it down. After your project is complete, wait overnight so that the glue is good and dry. Your box is ready to use!
*Feed the ants. Find an ant nest and put different foods nearby such as cookie crumbs, breadcrumbs, cheese, a cracker, etc. Which food or foods do the ants go to? Which ones do they stay away from? Find out which foods are ants favorite this way.
Dear Parents:
Does your child show interest in drawing? Watercoloring? Modeling with clay? Does your child like making murals or ceramics? If your answer is yes to one or more of these activities, you may have a budding artist on your hands. Exposure to art in the early grades can begin a lifetime of enjoyment with art.
Here are some activities you can do with your child at home that promotes self-expression. These projects can be created simply using homemade materials.
*Make a calendar pinup. Draw a space for a picture and hang a month-at-a-glance calendar below it. Display the calendar in your home where it will get exposure, such as the kitchen or den. Ask your child to draw 12 pictures to fit in the space, and then use the calendar for the whole year!
*Put a solid object under a piece of white paper such as a coin, a key, a paper clip. Watch as the image pops through the paper. Make pictures this way. Experiment on other small, flat items. Do the same thing putting a piece of white paper over a different texture. Watch as the texture emerges on the paper.
*Gather large, smooth rocks. Get some newspaper and paints. Put your rock on top of newspapers, and being painting it. After the paint dries, put on a clear coating. Give the decorated rock as a gift. It makes a nice paperweight.
*With colored chalk, design an image on a brown grocery bag and use it for a trash receptacle. See what comments this conversation piece receives.
*Tear up pieces of colored construction paper and create a collage out of the torn paper.
*Create a fantastic cut-paper design. Horizontally, fold a sheet of 11” x 17” (28 x
43 cm) paper into four even sizes – fold in a method as if you were making a fan. Then fold this long thin piece in half. Next, cut many small shapes out of the paper until most of the paper is cut out and only a little of the paper is remaining. Unfold the paper carefully. Mount the design on a piece of colored paper; stand back and admire your work!
*Make seed jewelry. Use a variety of dried seeds and string them along a thread. Tie the ends of the thread together and you have a bracelet or necklace.
*Knead clay into a ball the size of an orange. Use your thumbs to press the clay inward to form a small bowl. Rotate the clay until the bowl is shallow and the walls are all the same width. Use or display.
Because art is not likely to be provided as a requirement, it is up to you to help your child get that extra experience in art. Happy creating!
Dear Parents:
Understanding oneself in the context of other human beings is what social studies is all about. Recognizing that each of our environments is different, yet each depends on one another is human nature at its best. Try the following activities at home for a greater understanding of the social experience.
*When you and your child re in the car, get close to home and ask your child to give you directions the rest of the way. Ask that he say left or right and tell you about the distance you need to travel at each turn.
*Look at a map together. Show your child where you live. Then point to different places where relatives and friends live that your child knows. Ask your child to help you measure the distance between different places.
*Ask your child what the weather is like outside. On the way to and from school, make observations about the weather and the season. Discuss the season and its impact on people in your hometown. Go through each season and discuss what kinds of things people do differently, i.e. in winter you wear coats, in summer you wear shorts, etc. Teach your child how to read a thermometer.
*Discuss the possible differences between you and people who live in a different city, state or country. What are the similarities? (Example: weather, transportation, method of housing, etc.).
*Make a map of your home. Make a map of your school. Make a map of your neighborhood. Use symbols for houses, trees, stores, parks, roads, etc. Teach directions from these maps.
*Discuss transportation around your community. What is different and the same between your community and another community? (How do you go to school – walk, bus, car, bike, subway, etc).
*Talk about your neighborhood. What is good about it? What do you like least about it? What do the neighbors do for one another?
*Compare living in a city versus living in a country. What are the similarities? What are the differences? Ask your child what he thinks he might like and might not like living in a different environment.
*Pantomime different community people doing their jobs. (Examples: farmer milking a cow, firefighter putting out fires, police officer directing traffic, mail carrier delivering letters, nurse taking someone’s temperature, etc.)
*Have your child interview someone older, preferably a grandparent, and find out what life was like for him or her when they were the same age as your child.
*As your child lies on the floor, trace him on a large sheet of colored paper. When he gets up, have him color and dress him outline with crayons. Do this with each child and then hang up the large murals. Notice the differences and similarities.
These activities help prepare you child for understanding and participating in the community and world more effectively. With this information, your child is now on his way to being a responsible citizen – in school, at home, on the playground and eventually out in the world.
Dear Parents:
All children are born with a sense of wonder and each one needs an adult who can
help share it with them. Be eager to explore, discover, observe, experiment and
learn together! Here are some ways to do so:
*Catch an insect in a jar; watch it and talk about what you see. Then let it go.
*Find a magnifying glass and have your child observe things laid out underneath the glass. What does she see that is ordinarily hidden from view? (Things to look at include insects, dust, part of your body, leaves and plants, bread mold, etc.)
*Have your child learn to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch to gather information about different objects. What does he learn about salt and sugar by tasting? What does he find out about the scents around the house? What does he find out about a sponge and a nail file after touching these items?
*Give your child various rocks, seed or leaves. Ask her to sort them by size, by texture, by color, by weight (the rocks). What does she discover?
*Grow mold. Take a piece of fresh bread. Put it on a paper plate and sprinkle it with water. Wrap plastic around it and put it in a dark drawer. Take it out two days later. What has happened? Put the bread back into the drawer and take it out in another two days. Write your observations. Keep track of the mold-growing process. (Remember, molded bread is not for eating!)
*Which float? Which sink? Gather objects like a Ping-Pong ball, plastic fork, ruler, scissors, spring, thick rope, balloon, etc. Ask your child which ones he thinks float. Which items does he think sink? Test the items by getting a pan of water and seeing for yourself!
*Take two identical items of clothing – like a pair of socks. Get them both wet, then leave them outside to dry. Put one in the shade and one in the sun. Which sock dries faster? Why?
*Growing sprouts. Get sprout seeds, plant them, set them near your kitchen windowsill and watch them grow. What do you learn from this? What do you find interesting about their growth?
*Go outside and listen – what do you hear? Stay inside and listen – what do you hear? What do these sounds sound like when you tap your ears with the palms of your hands? When you open your mouth wide – and wider? When you turn your head to one side and then to the other side fast?
Science is fun. Children learn to be accurate, learn how to raise questions and use their minds in trying to find answers, learn to be open about different objects, learn to identify and store information and learn from the mistakes they make. When dealing with science and young children, there will be feelings of joy and excitement with the interactions of the world. Remember, if you spot a hazard, make sound rules that are appropriate for your child. Have fun!
Dear Parents:
What can be more exciting, stimulating and challenging than learning math? Math helps us in everyday activities such as making a purchase to planning a party, from building a tree house to measuring a cup of cereal. Work with your child on the activities that follow, and you will find her math skills improve with time. Keep in mind that your child will work at a level of his interest and ability.
*When you make a trip to the grocery store for a few items, have your child add up the total bill. Then tell your child that you plan to take back something that is spoiled. Have him figure the bill without the extra item.
*Cook up a storm! When baking brownies together, as your child to measure the ingredients before adding them to the mixture. Taste the yummy results!
*Find four dice. Make sure three look alike and one looks different – either in size or color. Roll all four dice and see who gets the highest roll. Do this several times, adding up all numbers and then finding the total. Also, roll all four dice, add up the three that are alike and then subtract the number on the die that is different. This is good practice for subtraction.
*Find a catalog and have your child pick three items she would like from the catalog. Add them up and find the total amount to be paid.
*Have your child add up the number of minutes he watches television each day. Change the minutes into hours. Create a list of the total minutes for all week. How many hours does that make?
*Explain coins – pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. When making a simple purchase, get assistance from your child.
*Fill a moneybag with coins and ask your child to count and find out how much is in the bag. If she guesses right, she gets to keep the money!
*If you have a collection of something at home, like buttons or CDs, have your child count the total number in your collection.
*Make up simple stories of addition, subtraction, and multiplication. Allow your child time to think of the answer. Make up simple stories having to do with time, too.
*Write a number on a piece of paper. Then around the house or yard, find things that are exactly that number. (Example: 6 light bulbs, 8 flowers, 12 dishes, etc.)
Whatever you do, instill a sense of self-confidence when your child answers correctly. Make sure you apply the problems or story to something your child can relate and apply to his world. The more comfortable your child is with numbers, time and measurements, the better he’ll become at math. Be patient – if you want to see results, you will!
Dear Parents:
As your child gets more and more involved in reading, she will eventually become curious about spelling. Here are some fun, high-interest activities to help practice spelling at home.
*Spelling Puzzle: Write each letter of a word on a piece of cardboard. Then cut the letter into puzzle pieces. Allow your child to piece together the letters and then the word!
*On small index cards, write about 20-30 words you want your child to learn. Then have your child alphabetize the cards. Once the alphabetizing becomes easy, staple cards together to create a small spelling book.
*Make a cassette tape of 20-30 spelling words. After saying each word, spell the word, spell the word slowly. Or, if your child is proficient at spelling, have him make the tape in his own voice by spelling the words.
*Matching Game: Use 3’ x 5’ (8 x 13cm) index cards and write the same word on two cards. Do this with 10-15 words. (You will then have a double amount of cards.) Turn all cards facedown and have first player pick up two cards. If they match, player takes them out of the game and turns up two more cards. If they don’t match, return them to the facedown position and the next player takes a turn. Whoever has the most cards in their stack wins the game.
*Play a word game Hangman. It’s a great way to learn words while having fun.
*Get a magnetic alphabet and put the letters on the refrigerator. Use this when relaying a short message to your child and have him do the same.
*Have your child copy words you have spelled on paper. Then have him draw a picture to go with each word.
*Have your child write and illustrate a story. Don’t worry about spelling mistakes if your child is making an effort. Let him read it to you and to other brothers and sisters.
Be sure you have fun along the way.
Selecting a Book for Your Child
Dear Parents:
These is such a large selection of books for children these days – how do you know which ones to choose to read to your child? Your objective as a parent is to get good books into the hand of your child, books that you think she will like. How do you know which book will strike the cord and turn her on to something new, something creative or something that will capture her imagination?
Here are some hints in selecting a book for your child:
*Find books relating to the hobby and interest your child enjoys. A good book in that particular subject matter will not only entertain your child but will be educational as well.
*Bring your child along – to the library or bookstore – when picking out a book. The more he takes an active interest in the project, the more interested he will be to read the book.
*Find books with pictures, even if your child thinks the book looks like a “baby” book. The pictures help spark discussions, they unlock the imagination and they promote creative story telling.
*Select a book you enjoyed as a child and read it aloud with excitement and familiarity. Most likely, with this enthusiasm, your child will enjoy it, too.
*Select books that have gold and silver awards on them. Award-winning titles are selected by their content and are usually very safe bets.
*Select ones that are fun for you to read. The more animated you sound when reading, the more fun your child will have listening, and the experience will be enjoyable for you both.
*Select a book that links a child to his everyday world. If you have just baked cookies and the characters in the story are baking cookies, you can relate the experience to one your child has just had, making the story more real.
Remember, you can always ask a librarian or bookstore owner to direct you to books you and your child might take home and enjoy. They are there to help you with your specific needs and goals.
Dear Parents:
When your child has a good night of sleep, he performs better and is ready to take on his daily activities as well as new things that may arise. When your child has not had a good night of sleep, he is less able to perform academically, his behavior becomes difficult and he is more susceptible to germs that can cause illness.
Have your child do his homework in the afternoon or early in the evening. It can often become an unpleasant situation if he puts off the assignment until right before bedtime. At this time he is tired and cannot do as good a job as when he is completely awake and absorbed (and you’re tired of nagging by now, too).
There are many reasons why your child needs a good night of sleep:
*Your child will perform better academically during school hours.
*Your child will be able to handle a new and unfamiliar situation should it arise.
*Your child’s mind is clear and fresh.
*A body works best when it’s had a good night of sleep.
*You will have time for yourself at the end of the day.
Please see that your child gets a good night of sleep – for everyone’s sake.
Dear Parents:
To reinforce writing activities done in school, here are activities you and your child will enjoy at home together.
*Write a note for your child and put it in a place it will be seen. Ask for a written response.
*Ask your child to write down the items he needs at the grocery stores or drugstore, and have him go with you to get the items.
*Ask your child to write a note to a grandparent or friend who lives in a different city, state, or country. (This activity will be especially exiting if your child receives a letter in response.)
*Make some artistic stationary with several small pictures or one big picture. Add lines and have your child write a notes to someone special with this stationary.
*Tear pictures from a magazine and ask your child to write a caption for each one.
*Keep a parent/child journal with an ongoing dialogue. Leave and pick up messages in this journal.
*Have your child help you label things in the freezer, in your desk, on the bathroom shelves, etc.
There are so many exciting writing activities. Anything from a note that says “Hi” on the breakfast table in the morning, to a “Good night” note on your child’s pillow at the end of the day. Be clever and think up other writing activities for the rest of the day. Siblings enjoy assisting because there is excitement in these activities for the whole family.
Dear Parents:
There are many activities you can do with your child to help him to become a better reader. As a matter of fact, they are so much fun, you won’t believe they’re activities for learning! Most of the activities are simple and can be done anywhere.
Here are some ideas:
*Think of a word and see how many times your child can find it in the newspaper or a magazine – or if in a car, on the signs you pass.
*When you are in a car, point out a sign and see if your child can read it.
*Let your child read the advertisements that come in the mail.
*Have your child help you cook by reading a recipe.
*Have your child help you create a project by reading the directions involved.
*Have your child help you select which cereal to buy in the grocery store by reading the boxes.
*Have your child help you find where you are going by looking in the phone book for the address.
*Have your child help you do the laundry by turning the knobs on the washer and dryer.
*Have your child apply for his own library card.
*Have your child learn how to play a game by reading the directions aloud.
Have fun!
A Success Guide for Parents of Grade School Students
How can you, the parent, have a positive effect on your child’s schoolwork? Here are some suggestions to consider:
*Come to school and meet your child’s teacher. You are welcome. Parents’ support and frequent communication help children learn.
*Ask your child what happened in school each day. If your child says “nothing,” don’t give up. Ask questions about specific activities.
*Become familiar with school regulations and school practices so that you will know what’s expected of your child. If you have questions or concerns, discuss them with the principal.
*Help your child see that school attendance is important and desirable.
*Make TV watching a constructive force in your household. You might give your child an “allowance” of TV time and promote high-quality programs. Watch television with your child and discuss what you’ve just watched.
*If your child announces that he or she “hates” a certain subject, find out why. Then enlist the teacher’s help in changing the negative feelings.
How can you help your child with homework? Here are a few suggestions that can make homework a valuable link between the school and your home:
*Make sure that your child has a good place in which to study. It should offer plenty of room to spread out materials, the right kind of lighting, and a comfortable chair.
*When your child is doing homework, make sure the entire family gives that activity as much respect as possible, so the student is not disturbed unnecessarily.
*Set aside the same time each day for homework. This helps develop the discipline most children need.
*Establish rules for using the telephone, stereo, and TV during homework time. This will mean better concentration.
*Review spelling words with your child, perhaps once before going to bed and again in the morning. The same goes for other types of memory work such as multiplication tables, arithmetic drills, state capitals, and so on.
*When your child is writing a school report, show that using information from several sources is better than just relying on one book. Help your child get acquainted with the wide range of available sources.
*Go over your child’s homework, expressing both your expectations and support. Make suggestions about spelling, grammar, punctuation, or the accuracy of solutions, but don’t do the homework for the child.
These are questions you may wish to ask your child’s teacher at conference time:
*What are the children studying this year?
*What are they doing in specific subject areas? What do you include in social studies? What kind of arithmetic will they learn? How do you teach reading or spelling?
*I see equipment with which I am unfamiliar (computers, overhead projectors, etc.). What is it used for?
*How is the class organized? When are children taught in groups rather than as a class? What do you do for the child who learns faster or slower than the others?
*How do you evaluate the child’s progress? What tests are used? What do your grades mean?
*What policies apply to this grade? What the school rules? How much homework do you give? What kind of discipline is used?
How can you help your child develop these important attributes? Here are a few suggestions:
*Let your child know how interested you are in what he or she has to say. Show how carefully you are considering his or her opinions.
*It is good to add, “Do this instead” when you must tell your child no. Substituting a permissible activity takes the child’s mind off the thing forbidden, and promotes a positive view.
*When answering your child’s questions or reviewing spelling words, suggest that he or she look up the answer in a reference source. Help your child find the answer, but don’t be too quick to “give” it.
*Speak proudly and frequently about your child’s strengths.
*Help your child find time each day that is his or hers alone. Children need time to think, dream, plan, make decisions, and free their minds from problems.
*Allow your child, when possible, to experience the consequences of actions.
*Proudly display your child’s accomplishments at home. This includes everything from a five-year-old’s artwork to a teenager’s merit badge.
Good Spellers: Born or Made?
Correct spelling has become, in our society, one mark of a well-educated, conscientious person. It is vital to effective written expression. Consequently, parents are concerned about their child’s ability to spell.
Are good spellers born that way, or can a poor speller be taught to spell correctly? Some children do have a natural inclination toward spelling. Some are fortunate enough to acquire the proper attitudes toward spelling early in life. The others, however, can be helped. This leaflet shows some of the ways children can become good spellers.
Who Are the Good Spellers?
The most important traits possessed by the good speller are a spelling conscience and a spelling consciousness. A spelling conscience is the desire to spell correctly; a spelling consciousness is the ability to recognize when a word is misspelled. Both require knowledge of the importance toward learning to spell.
Good spellers are generally avid and good readers. Spelling and reading are, after all, related language activities – spelling is encoding a word into its written symbol and reading is decoding a word from its written symbol. The more a child reads, the more he or she sees words correctly spelled, and so the more likely he or she is to remember how rods should be spelled.
A good vocabulary is another trait of the good speller. Knowing the meaning of a word makes it more likely that one can spell it correctly. Good spellers not only possess a wide vocabulary, but they are able to choose the precise word to fit the meaning they intend, and they know the proper form of the word to use in each context.
Good spellers know how to proofread their written work to discover spelling errors. They know how to use a dictionary to determine correct spelling. Finally, good spellers have a systematic method that enables them to learn to spell new words as needed throughout life.
At one time it was thought that the spelling of American English was entirely inconsistent, that each word in the language presented a unique problem, and that therefore children ought to learn in school to spell the three to four thousand words that make up nearly 98 percent of all adult writing. This method – one that is till used today in some schools – has been to drill students on word lists compiled on the basis of usage by each age group.
A further rationale for the list-drill method has been that since most rules on American English spelling have so many exceptions, it is futile to try to teach any but the most basic and general rules. Following such reasoning, each word would have to be presented as a separate object of study.
Comparison of different word lists shows a wide variation in the words included, because opinions differ as to the words needed for written work at each age and the relative difficulty any give word presents to the child learning to spell it. In addition, researchers report that some children will spell the words correctly when drilled on lists but will not transfer this knowledge when writing in context.
Six elements in the teaching of spelling have long been recognized as essential and will probably continue to form the basis of spelling instruction no matter how drastically methods may change:
1. Children must learn to analyze both written and spoken words.
2. Spelling requires the use of sight, hearing, and touch. The child must say the word, hear it, visualize it, and write it.
3. Students must learn to proofread their work.
4. Child must learn how to use the dictionary as a spelling aid and acquire the habit of using it.
5. The ability to spell can grow throughout the high school and college years. Students who are poor spellers by the time they reach these levels must first improve their attitudes toward spelling, and then develop such skills as handwriting, proofreading, and dictionary usage. They must also devise a systematic method for learning to spell the many specialized and technical words they will then need.
6. Compositions and other types of written work provide strong motivation for the student to learn to spell.
Just as many other academic subjects are being taught differently today because of new knowledge about teaching and learning gained in recent years, so also has spelling been the target of innovation. Computers now provide individualized instruction, drilling each child on the words causing special difficulties. Tape recorders can enable students to take their own list pr problem words and write them as the tape plays back their dictation. Another change is toward stressing pupil interest in spelling and teaching the meaning of words along with the spelling.
By far the most significant change, however, has been to draw on the knowledge and methods of the field of descriptive linguistics. Experts in linguistics have shown that there is far more consistency to American English spelling than previously believe. In fact, they have “taught” computers to spell with amazing accuracy, and computers can only perform according to the rules programmed into them.
Children learning to spell on the basis of linguistics do not learn to spell each word separately from a list of basic words for their grade. Rather, the words taught are those that illustrate certain rules of American English spelling. The child learns to discover the rules and apply them to other words, thus developing an unlimited spelling vocabulary.
Parents are not expected to become expert spelling teachers at home. However, there are some things you can do to help your child become a better speller.
*Show your child why it is important to learn to spell correctly. Ask your librarian or your child’s teacher for some children’s books that emphasize this theme.
*Keep your child in good physical condition and have his or her sight, hearing, and speech checked regularly.
*Help your child learn to pronounce words correctly. Singing songs and reciting poetry help children hear the sounds or words.
*Encourage your child to perform tasks that require knowing how to spell – writing letters, thank-you notes, invitations; making a shopping list; labeling objects.
*See that your child proofreads all written schoolwork.
*Point out misspellings that you notice.
*Praise your child for recognizing misspellings.
*Provide your child with a dictionary. Instead of spelling words for her or him, insist that a dictionary be used. Help your child think of possible alternative spellings until the word in question can be found.
*Help your child distinguish between such pairs of letters as w and m, n and u, l and t, b and d, i and l.
*Teach your child to use correct tenses of verbs and plurals of nouns.
*Have your child make a list of the words that cause trouble, and help him or her master their spelling.
*Help your child increase vocabulary by defining words not understood and provide new experiences, such as a trip to the zoo, a firehouse, or a ballgame.
*Play word games such as anagrams, alphabetizing words, working and making crossword puzzles, and so on.
*Develop your children’s interest in reading by providing books on their favorite topics.
If your child is a poor speller, offer sympathetic understanding. Give him or her a chance to succeed at the task by starting with easy words that can be mastered quickly.
By all means confer with your child’s teacher if you feel your child has a problem with spelling.
Don’t give up. Almost everyone can learn to spell.
MUSIC is important in the education of your child. It is one of the real accomplishments of the human race, and the Western world has developed it beyond that of any other people. Music is one of your child’s other people. Music is one of your child’s richest heritages. To share in this heritage your child must study music, for the casual contact alone will not unlock its deepest treasures. For this reason all good schools provide a program of music education.
Your child can benefit from a good school music program in many ways. It can –
*Introduce him or her to one of the most significant cultural achievements of the human mind.
*Be a disciplined emotional outlet for the release of tension.
*Enlarge her or his potential for creating and enjoying beauty.
*Develop the skills and understandings needed for using music in leisure time.
*Provide satisfying experiences with groups or peers.
*Build the aesthetic and spiritual values that are so important in the overall development of both personality and character.
*Enrich your child’s life for years to come.
The study of music should begin during the years children spend in the elementary school. These are the years during which they are acquiring attitudes, skills, and appreciations in many fields; and if they do not get them in music, they might find themselves severely handicapped if they try for musical experience later. Music is for nearly all children, not just the “talented” few. (Parents should realize, however, that talent in music, like talent in most human endeavors, is largely the result of hardwork.) The school should help your child find a relationship with music that will bring lasting satisfaction.
Your child should have a sequence or continuity in music from grade to grade so that musical growth may parallel physical and emotional development. A good elementary music program should include –
*A daily music period with a competent music teacher.
*Time to sing, play, create, and listen to music.
*Experiences that develop functional familiarity with musical notation.
*Opportunity to play such instruments as the Autoharp, tone bells, recorder, and ukulele.
*Experience that develops familiarity with the keyboard.
*Opportunity to play in a band or orchestra, or at least the opportunity to play a band or orchestral instrument.
*Opportunity to sing in a choral ensemble.
*Rhythmic movement, essential to certain musical skills and appreciations.
*Participation in the presentation of public programs.
What Should Be Students’ Secondary School Opportunities?
Students who are given a sounds musical foundation in elementary school are ready for study of the art in more depth. All students should have some significant musical experiences as part of their general education, and those interested should be enabled to continue the development of skills and understanding. Specifically, in secondary school your child should be able to –
*Enjoy, study, and understand fine music in regularly scheduled classes.
*Participate in large and small instrumental and vocal ensembles.
*Learn to play the recorder, guitar, and similar instruments, plus an instrument of his or her choosing.
*Help prepare and present concerts and other public performances.
*Specialize in music to the extent indicated by interest and talent, especially if your child plans to make music in vocation.
Much of the progress of music education has been due to parental interest. Such interest is most helpful when it is concerned with the real educational objectives of school music rather than with the entertainment and public relations aspects that performing organizations also provide.
Not many parents ask their child, “What did you learn in music today?” as often as they inquire about spelling or arithmetic. This attitude is not lost on children, who are quick to model themselves on their parents’ values. Developing a good musical atmosphere is the home helps the child find some relationship between the music studied at school and the music heard at home. Words of encouragement and an interested awareness at practice time are also very important.
A well-designed and effective music program is not difficult to identify: Children can read music and sing part of songs by the time they enter seventh grade. High school seniors are as familiar with the works of Mozart, Wagner, and Schonberg as they are with those of Shakespeare, Dickens, and Hemingway. School orchestras are on a par with school bands. There are places for music listening as well as for rehearsal and performance. The high school offers courses in music theory and history and makes arrangements for credit and released time for private instruction.
Parents should ask themselves if they school music programs in their community measure up to the programs described in this leaflet. If they do not, parents will find their professional music educators and school administrators willing to cooperate in improving the situation.
We live in an increasingly complex society in which getting a good education is no longer an option, but a necessity. Yet many children don’t do as well in school as they or their parents would like.
The difference between children who do poorly in school and those who do well often relates to what their parents do at home to help. When parents take the time to help, it can influence school success as much or more than a child’s intellectual capacity or the quality of the school he or she attends. Good study skills will provide your child with a basic tool needed to succeed in school. So what can you do to help?
The specific techniques to use vary based on the age, maturity, and other characteristics of your child. Most of the suggestions in this article are for children 8 years and older.
When helping your child arrange a study schedule, keep several points in mind.
*The time arranged for study should occur at the same time each day. Most children, like adults, are creatures of habit. When they get used to doing something at the same time each day, it becomes easier to remember and do rather than if it occurs at different times each day.
*Work with your child to set aside times for study when he or she is most alert.
*Involve your child in making the schedule. Children are more likely to accept a study schedule that they have been involved in setting up than on that has been imposed upon them.
*Help your child be realistic in the amount of time scheduled.
Children who have daily study goals are more organized, focused, and motivated during study sessions. The reason is that study goals provide something specific to strive for. Encourage your child to:
*Develop goals based on homework assignments. Three or four small goals that your child can attain one by one work better than one large goal.
*Check off each goal as it is completed. Every time your child checks off a goal, it will give him or her a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This helps provide the incentive to keep going.
When children understand what they study, they remember it more easily than if they simply memorize it. Guide your child in these ways.
*Begin each study session with the assignments that are most difficult to learn and understand.
*Use the “survery-read-resurvery” procedure.
Tell your child first to survey for the main ideas in the chapter. Reading the introduction and summary to the chapter and any study questions that might be listed at the beginning or end of the chapter can do this.
Once your child gains an understanding of the main ideas, he or she should carefully read the chapter.
Finally, have your child look back through or resurvey the chapter and try to further understand and remember the main ideas and important details.
*Think about what is being studied and figure out a “point of view.” For example, when studying weather, or more specifically rain, encourage your child to form an opinion about what causes rain.
Once a point of view is determined, your child can then decide what information or evidence supports and does not support that point of view.
*Formulate questions. While it may seem time-consuming and awkward at first, once your child learns how to make up and seek answers to questions while studying, the task becomes more interesting, fun, and more understandable and meaningful.
It is not critical which questions your child asks. But it is essential that he or she ask questions because this will promote an active, involved, and thinking approach to studying.
*Summarize. Outlining is one way of summarizing. The simplest way to outline is to use the textbook headings and subheadings, listing the majore points covered underneath each heading. Note taking is another summarizing technique that has been found to be very helpful in fostering understanding and remembering. The benefits of note-taking are that your child not only summarizes what is studied but also is involved in translating what is being studied into his or her own words. Underlining or highlighting important key ideas, facts, and details to be remembered also can be helpful.
*Organize important facts and information into categories whenever possible. The process of putting things into categories can help your child recognize, understand, and remember essential information.
*Take a few minutes at regular intervals to reflect on what was just learned. When doing this, your child may want to talk about what was learned or write notes about it.
If your child understands what was just studied, he or she will be able to visualize it and talk intelligently about it during reflection time. If not, encourage your child to reread or restudy the material.
A child who receives recognition for academic achievements is much more likely to want to excel in school. Thus focus on what your child does right, that is, look for achievements.
Remember that a major key to improving your child’s school success is making him or her feel successful. Train yourself to look for the good things your child does – look for success. Let your child know you like it and encourage it. If you focus on, expect and recognize success, you will get more of it.
While it’s important to recognize and pay attention to your child’s achievements, you should focus recognition and attention on those accomplishments that are new or challenging to your child. Excessive recognition for everything, no matter how trivial, can result in your recognition losing its worth or value for encouraging your child to learn to try new things.
Consider the time you have to help and pick those techniques you have the time and energy to direct and supervise.
Always save time after each session, at the end of a week or at another scheduled time for you and your child to look at what has been accomplished and take pride in those accomplishments.
Parent-Teacher conference: How your child can benefit
Teachers and parents are natural allies in the effort to give children the best possible education. It makes sense that we should compare notes occasionally.
Many people think parent-teacher conferences are only called when their children are in trouble at school. We see it as an opportunity to begin a working partnership with parents to ensure that children get the best possible education. We can accomplish more in the classroom if we have your support at home.
The parent-teacher conference requires preparation by both parties. The teacher will probably collect samples of the child’s work, such as tests or records, and will make notes about how your child is adjusting.
You should spend some time before the conference thinking about ho wyou would answer some of the following questions:
*What are your child’s special interests and abilities?
*Does your child have any physical or emotional problems?
*What is your child’s attitude toward school? What does he or she say about school?
*Where and how does the child do homework? Do you or does any other family member help?
*Does your child have rules and responsibilities at home? What sort of discipline works with your child?
*How does your child spend free time?
Remember, teachers are not trying to pry or interfere. They simply want to help.
Tell us if special circumstances are keeping your child from performing at peak levels. The death of a pet, a family conflict, or a friend moving away may have an effect on your child’s ability to concentrate.
You might think a conference is one-sided: We do all the talking and you do all the listening. But it isn’t like that at all.
Parents have many “answers” that can help us do a better job in class. We need to know them.
We want you to bring information to the conference as well as seek it. After all, you’ve known your child a lot longer than we have.
Tell us about things that interest your child and generate enthusiasm, as well as things that bore or turn your child off. We’d like to know how your child interacts with friends outside the school setting.
The more we know about the child as an individual, the more we can help him or her learn.
Report cards can only tell you part of the story on how your child is progressing in school. A parent-teacher conference gives you the chance to get more information.
If you are worried about the amount and type of homework your child brings home, tell the teacher. If your child tells stories about school occurrences that concern you, ask the teacher. If you have concerns about the school, air them.
Here are some frequently asked questions:
*How are grades figured?
*What do test scores mean?
*What is my child’s ability level? Is my child working up to potential?
*Is my child grouped according to ability? On what basis is that assignment made?
*How is my child progressing in specific subjects?
*Does my child exhibit any special skills, abilities, or interests that should be encouraged?
*How does my child get along with other students?
*Is my child well behaved and responsive to direction?
Listen carefully and without emotion to what the teacher says, and don’t take comments on your child’s strengths and weaknesses personally. The teacher isn’t trying to place blame.
If your child is having problems, focus on solutions. Stress strengths and needs, rather than faults and weaknesses.
Work out a plan with the teacher to help your child accomplish more, whether it’s through additional classwork or projects at home. Start right away to implement any strategies you agree to try at home. It may be as simple as changing your child’s homework routine or setting.
Don’t hesitate to request another conference or to call your child’s teacher to discuss a concern. The teacher’s – and the student’s – best friend is an interested parent.
By the year 1995, three-quarters of our school-aged children will have mothers who work outside the home. This means that the number of children fending for themselves for some part of the day – latchkey children – will continue to increase. National numbers are already estimated tat up to ten million.
The situation is a reality and must be dealt with. Even as the numbers of affected children grow, many communities still have not come forward with organized programs.
Many children who come home to an empty house feel resentful, lonely, depressed.
Other children the same age in the same situation feel pride in the opportunity to handle responsibility and gain parental recognition by taking care of household chores after school, getting a start on their own work, or having time for their own projects.
The difference? Success or failure in a self-care situation can very often depend on the relationship between you and your child. You set the tone. Physical dangers of children home alone must, of course, be considered and contingency plans must be made. But please, please do not ignore the emotional dangers.
It is extremely important that your child know that there is someone who cares, someone who will acknowledge the events and efforts in the day, someone who is available to solve problems – someone who will listen and take the telling seriously.
This emotional support is in addition to the basics of making the latchkey experience a successful experience – teaching your child survival skills, setting appropriate house rules, structuring the time your child is alone, and monitoring your child’s performance. It takes time and energy at the end of a busy day to listen and really hear the successes and the problems.
Prepare your child and work closely with her or him so that the child does not feel abandoned and isolated. You can make a very real difference by structuring a positive situation – providing for both the physical and emotional needs.
For specifics – how to make your child’s time count, helping the child feel less alone, how to tell if your child is ready to be left alone – we have produced a well-researched and extremely helpful brochure.
Titled “let’s Talk About When Your Child is at Home Alone,” it is available to you in multiple copies if you wish to share it with groups of organizations. Contact your local teachers’ association for copies.
Major problems for latchkey children can be loneliness and boredom. Out-of-school time represents a valuable times for children. During their school years, they develop many of the interests and abilities they will have as adults. Through interaction with other children, they also gain the social skills they will use throughout their lives.
But children who are home alone often have difficulty structuring their time alone. They may watch too much television, overeat, fight more with siblings, and experience fear and loneliness.
You can help your child avoid fear and loneliness by:
*Helping your child develop new interests and abilities.
*Introducing an activity, providing a few simple resources, and showing interest in the results can speed your child on the way to new interests. Whether the interest lasts a day or a lifetime, it is time used wisely.
*Helping your child structure time alone. Time passes more quickly when it is filled with activities. A child who puts away breakfast dishes, works on homework, watches a television program, and works on an art project while alone had a stimulating afternoon and contributed to the family welfare. This child is much less likely to be bored or lonely – or to hear the scary noises many houses seem to make when children are home alone. You can help your child create a meaningful schedule by working together on an activity sheet “A Plan For When I’m By Myself.”
*Arrange opportunities for your child to be with others. If your child is alone on a regular basis, you may want to investigate opportunities in your community for interaction with other children.
The eyes may be the windows to the soul but children’s attitudes towards homework can be the window into their lives.
Homework extends the school day into a child’s household, bringing to the fore the positive or negative pressures that school produces.
There are two basic groups of children – those who view homework as a positive extension into their home life and those who find it an intrusion.
Children who enjoy homework get positive gratification from sitting down organizing, focusing and thinking things through on their own. Doing homework please them, as well as parents and teachers, resulting in a positive form of pressure.
Homework also gives these children the chance to continue working on something that was interesting to them during the school day.
Homework competition between siblings can be a source of positive pressure that builds a sense of family, and indicates what it means to work and the role of work in life.
Children who are being nudged to excel by their parents can also feel positive pressures. But children who are pushed too hard can get the sense that they can’t live up to expectations.
Often these children will enjoy doing homework more if parents step back and allow them to work on their own, although some degree of parental guidance is important.
There are some children who enjoy school but balk at doing their schoolwork at home. Schools should provide these children the locations of libraries or other resources in their communities where they can work in a quiet environment without parental pressures.
In school, children are constantly learning about and monitoring their own ability to work, their popularity with peers and their relationships with teachers. Negative experiences in these areas can have a critical impact in children’s development of self-esteem and enjoyment of school and homework.
Then there are a few rebellious children who are capable of doing their homework but elect not to. But many others have difficulty doing homework because of poverty, drug abuse, lack of encouragement, instability or other issues within the home. Neglecting homework in these cases can be a way for children to act out their anger and depression.
Others who resent homework include children who are picked on at school, find school too pressured, or lack self-confidence. If the problems affecting them aren’t addressed, a sense of hopelessness can set in and become a way of life.
Also, children with undetected learning disorders or physical problems might be unable to do their homework and could stop trying as a result of fear of failure.
If teachers notice that children aren’t doing their homework, the first question they should ask is why – and try to get answers from the children themselves and their parents.
Teachers can help by pinpointing problems and providing extra questions to those children who are not doing their homework. Working with the teacher lets children form an association with an adult who can provide a different perspective than the parent. The children also profit by having an adult taking an interest in them.
Responding to teacher bashing in his local newspaper, Nothereastern Region Field Director Joel Riegel submeitted his own letter-to-the-editor. He acknowledged the community forces that were spelling out expectations of teachers. Then he added his own list of expectations – those a teacher has of a parent.
1. A teacher expects that each child that enters the classroom has had a nourishing breakfast served by a caring adult.
2. A teacher expects each child to be well rested and to have been sent to bed at a reasonable hour.
3. A teacher expects each child to take a bath every evening, most especially in the fall and spring months of school.
4. A teacher expects each child to have completed homework assignments.
5. A teacher expects that a parent has looked over the child’s homework to see that it has been done neatly and correctly.
6. A teacher expects the parent talk every evening about school and to inquire about new things learned, project assignments, book reports due, and homework.
7. A teacher expects each child to be well disciplined.
8. A teacher expects each child to have been taught the difference between right and wrong.
9. A teacher expects each child to have been taught self respect, respect to classmates, and respect for the adults whose charge the student has been placed in.
10. A teacher expects parents to enforce limits for their children, to discipline with love, and to demand appropriate behavior.